How To Save a Marriage from Crisis?

You were leading a calm life and suddenly your partner asked for a divorce from you. What else can be more shocking than this? Whatever may be the reason for this, you feel extremely painful and the worst part is that you have no idea on how to deal with it. Do not worry as you have still a lot to do to save a marriage. Take a look at our relationship advice to know what you can do to revive your relationship.

Increase your share

Both partners are expected to make 50 per cent of their contribution to make a relationship last longer. But if your partner has decided to waive off her part and end the relationship, you will have to increase your share and work even harder to save a marriage.

If you are able to survive the crisis, you can make your relationship even better than before. One must understand that relationships are not good all the time and there are lots of ups and downs. But this should not make you worry; instead you should stay positive and work towards saving your marriage and make it last longer.

Identify the real reason

Your marital crisis may make your spouse angry and complain about almost everything in your relationship. You should not assume these complaints as the real reason of splitting. In fact, it is just a way that she is feeling guilty over the crisis and not being able to save a marriage.

Add something interesting to your life

While it is not a great idea to change your job or switch your career during a crisis, the best you can do is to add an interesting hobby in your routine. This will help you concentrate on the hobby and it will take you away from the negativity of the marital crisis. Moreover, it will present you as a more interesting person in front of your spouse.

Give her a chance

If you spouse tells you there that is no love left in your relationship and wants to put it to an end, give her an opportunity to rethink on her idea. Do not call or follow her indefinitely as this will only bother her and would not allow her to give a serious thought to her decision. Do not get too demanding and let her find out the answer.

It takes a lot of time, effort and understanding to save a marriage. If you will follow this relationship advice seriouslyFeature Articles, for sure you will be able to sort out the issues with your spouse and save your relationship from divorce.

5 Ways To Save Your Marriage

There are guidelines to follow if you want to save your marriage. Marriage is more than just a game in life but nevertheless married couples enter the playing field with no practical experience or any idea of the rules.

Some couples master the rules faster than others. Some come to a decision they don’t like the game at all and call it a day. Others carry on playing the game even though they don’t like it and are not having any fun at all. They keep on rolling the dice hoping that their luck will change and the game will get better. Let’s have a look at 5 rules that can save your marriage.

1. Being Tolerant.

It’s easy to see the best in a person as long as they are doing what you like. But it is important to make the effort to not let little things irritate you. If your partner does something that does annoy you, don’t look at them as faults but as unique character qualities. Love the faults along with the benefits.

2. Be a Space Giver.

This means not only having separate wardrobes but allow each other much needed private time. Being with someone you love all the time is challenging. This applies to not only at home but with friends as well. Incidentally, with regards to the space in the wardrobes, keep yours tidy.

3. Go Away Together.

It’s tricky to find time to take a holiday in a busy marriage but you must do it. A change of surroundings can really save your marriage by reigniting the spark that may be fading. And memories can be the glue that keeps you stuck together while the other pressures of life try to pull you apart.

4. Compare Opinions. Don’t Argue.

Arguments will arise in any relationship but if you want to save your marriage be respectful of your partner’s opinion. If the argument gets heated and its late in the day, it may be best to go to bed and sleep on it. An old saying recommends that you to never go to bed angry but things generally look better in the morning. Never give an ultimatum unless you want it to be taken. Give consideration to your partner’s likes and dislikes and you’ll have fewer arguments.

5. Don’t Forget The Romance.

You don’t have to be newlyweds to experience romance and intimacy. One of the ways to improve a relationship is to remember what you did when you starting dating and do it again. You probably exchanged gifts, took walks and went out for romantic dinner dates. You may think you know everything about your partner and if that’s soBusiness Management Articles, why aren’t they happy? Why aren’t you happy?

5 Simple Things You Can Do to Make a Relationship Work

Relationships sure aren’t simple. Simply taking two completely unique people and mixing together all their habits is bound to create at least a little friction. One of the most important things you can learn is how to make a relationship work. It is always possible to make things work no matter how much pain has been done. These next 5 steps will help you form a strong foundation for your relationship.

The first point is honesty. It won’t surprise many people out there to hear that stable relationships tend to center on honesty. Both partners must be devoted to be open and honest with each other. Of course this includes being honest about the major things like money and all that, but it also encompasses openness about the small things too. Even if there is something seemingly minuscule that you are hiding, it will have an impact on your relationship. Look at it this way: Every small lie and secret that you keep from your partner is just one extra bit of yourself that you cannot share with them. Over time these little things will begin to add up. Then you find yourself one day completely alienated and unable to relate to your partner.

The second part is integrity. This requires that you do all the things that you promise you will. Just like the first point, you have to watch the small things not just the major commitments. Every time a promise is broken, it will take away from the trust in the relationship and contribute to a mounting pile of resentment, which will only cause the relationship to crumble. The moral here is to only make promises that you actually plan on keeping to your partner, not just offers to keep them happy. If you can’t be certain of your ability to keep a promise, be honest with your partner and don’t make the promise to start with.

Third, do things together with your partner that they enjoy doing. Relationships need a little upkeep and effort to keep going. There is a good chance that your partner is interested in a few things that you quite honestly couldn’t care less about. When it come to making a relationship work, you absolutely need to learn how to compromise and occasionally do things with your partner that you might not like as much. Your boyfriend probably knows that you’re not really interested in watching basketball or hearing him talk about his camping trip. When you go along with him willingly you are really sending an implicit message that you want him to be happy.

Fourth, focus on the positive qualities about your partner. Yes, it is true that no one is perfect, but when you put all your focus on the little annoyances you not only make your partner feel bad, but you may even start to wonder if you should be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t remember to take out the trash or fill up to gas tank. Instead remember those times he said something that instantly made you feel better or held you when you were sad. When you remind yourself of all your partner’s good qualities you are helping create a foundation that will help your relationship last long-term.

Lastly, pay attention and try to understand your partner. You don’t need to feel like you have to fix his problems or even react to them at all. From time to timeFree Web Content, we all just need to know that someone is there for us and understands what we are dealing with. Begin practicing listening to the things your partner says about his life while avoiding the urge to judge or criticize him. Just listen to his experiences of life without trying to fix his problems. Making a relationship work is essentially just accepting your partner fully just as he is

Action Steps To Fix My Relationship: Tips to Make Your Relationship Work!

When a couple falls in love, it can be a wonderful and beautiful thing. However, once the couple starts down on that relationship road, there are steps that need to be taken to keep that relationship blossoming.

However, if the relationship is not cultivated it may fall into disrepair. Therefore, if the relationship reaches this point, one may have to take steps to repair that relationship.

Subsequently, the question may arise by either one of the individuals in the relationship. That question may be how to fix my relationship? Some of the practical steps that one can take in response to how to fix my relationship may include counseling and going back to basics.


One of the key action steps that an individual or couple can take in order to address the question of how to fix my relationship is by seeking out a counselor. Generally, a counselor is that individual who has the educational background that qualifies them as a certified counselor. In addition, if the individual wishes to have religious counseling made available for them they can utilize a priest or a pastor to help with building or repairing the relationship.

In addition, when looking for a counselor to help with the question of how to fix my relationship, it is important to find an individual who is effective. This effectiveness can be ascertained by getting recommendations from individuals or couples who have benefited from the counseling experience.

The counseling experience in itself is an opportunity for the individual or couple to meet with a counselor with the purpose of sharing what the individual or couple is feeling and experiencing. Often a good counselor will listen to both sides of the story and provide that third-party perspective that really does not take sides one way or the other.

In addition, a counselor will help to mediate any difficulties that the relationship is experiencing. For example if either one of the individuals within the relationship have a complaint about the other individual who is not listening, it may be opportunity to do some role-playing or help the other person to hear what is being identified as a major concern.

Going Back To Basics

Additionally, there are other important steps that an individual can take in order to answer the question of how to fix my relationship. One of those action steps that can be taken is by returning to the beginnings of the partnership. Specifically, some of those early beginnings can be identified by looking at what actually attracted one individual to the other or what did the other individual do that was so meaningful and allowed the relationship to blossom.

For example, for the woman, maybe it was the man’s attention to being a gentleman or courteous. An example of this was the way that he opened the door or held her hand or a romantic stroll in the park. For the man perhaps it was the way that the woman listened attentively to what he was saying or making that special meal once a monthFree Web Content, etc.

Think About Couples Counseling To Make Your Relationship Stronger

The relationships between the married couples often get disrupted which is not an unusual thing in modern perspective of the world. Yes we do agree the relationships are composed of sentiments, emotional attachment and deep love & affection. The relationships between the married couples go in the same direction.

You not only find the obsessive feelings of love, romance and emotions between the conjugal pairs but come across breach of the relationship in them as well. If you are being a married couple coping with breakup signs, you may need to consult with psycho therapists as soon as possible. They are thoroughly professional therapists who provide the best couples counseling services in a reliable and dedicate manner.

While speaking about the importance of the couples counseling, many therapists stated that hundreds of millions of divorces are being occurred between the married couples due to the breakup in United States of America, Canada, France and United Kingdom among other countries in the world. Meanwhile the psychiatrists are concerned about the ever increasing divorce rates across the world. This is just because of the fact that relations involve huge amount of emotions and sentiments. More importantly, people have lost their temperament and patience. As a result, we are seeing more and more incidents of the divorce across the world.

In order to avoid breakup and make our relationship stronger with our life partner, we need couples counseling on a permanent basis. There are plenty of benefits of the couple counseling services. Firstly therapy helps us to prevent the sudden breakup. Secondly therapists are thoroughly professional counseling experts who will be with us how to resolve the clash between the married couple. Thirdly psychotherapists assist with you how to stay cool and calm in the fatiguing situation.

Fourth vital benefit of the couples counseling is to control over your emotions as quickly as possible. The fact is simple most of us lose respect with each other due to excessive emotional attachment. Therefore we need to control our emotions while taking the couple counseling. The more you adhere with therapist and share your experiences with him/her the more it creates a chance of reviving the conflicting relationships between the couple. Further you may need to go to online library wherein you can find out several crispy articles, reviews and books about the couples counseling to resolve your problems quickly.

Moreover you need to follow the instructions of the therapists regularly because each couple counseling tip will play a pivotal role in making your relationship with your life partner stronger. If you need any suggestions or commentsFree Articles, feel free to contact with your professional therapists online. They provide you the best couples counseling services.

Couples Therapy Can Really Help Improve Relationships

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. However, it is possible for any relationship to be near-perfect with a little help from couples therapy. Contrary to popular belief, couples therapy is not reserved for couples with relationship issues or married couples considering divorce. In fact, many couples have considered couples therapy when making big decisions such as a move or an engagement. Conflict resolution is the main goal of any couples therapy session, and even if there is no major conflict, therapy can help two people avoid conflict in the future.

Although it seems pointless, many couples have considered couples counseling after becoming engaged, even if they are happy and have no conflict. Couples therapy helps many couples to open up more lines of communication, which can lead to a happier marriage. There may be certain issues that these couples may have never discussed before becoming engaged. Speaking with a couple’s therapy counselor can make it easier for couples to discuss them and understand one another. Consequently, if couples can learn how to communicate better with one another before there is a conflict, they can avoid a more intense marriage counseling session. A couple’s therapist is educated and trained in conflict resolution between intimate partners.

Unfortunately, there are times when a couple will need therapy to address more serious issues regarding infidelity and addictions. In these cases the psychotherapist’s job is twofold during a couples therapy session. First, the therapist will understand the issues between the two people and how it is affecting their relationship; this is also an opportunity for each individual to discuss how these issues are affecting them individually. This gives the therapist the opportunity to analyze the issue and come up with ways to help the couple understand one another. The therapist works as a medium between the two people to discuss these issues civilly. Many times the therapist will need to speak with each person in separate counseling sessions, especially if there are issues with trust that prevents the couple from communicating. In these difficult situations, the therapists job is to help the couple tackle negative feelings toward one another, and learn to forgive and move on, if they are interested in saving their relationship.

Couples therapy is not taboo. Although many couples will seek counseling if their relationship is in great danger, other couples will attend therapy sessions to open better lines of communication. Furthermore, couples therapy is not exclusively for intimate couples. Psychotherapists are trained in conflict resolution. ThereforeFree Web Content, many business partners and coworkers can benefit from couples therapy to learn how to better their working relationship.

Why Your High School Senior Is So Stressed Right Now

There may be times for many of us throughout this college admissions process when we don’t think we’ll all survive. Parents are anxious, students are stressed and sometimes downright sullen, and admissions personnel are overwhelmed. It seems as though the stress has increased in recent years – especially for high school students. We’ve created an achievement culture where students begin earlier and earlier to plan for, and work toward, college admission. Is it any wonder that everyone is feeling out of control by the second half of senior year?

For high school students especially, the tension and stress at this time of year may often feel overwhelming. But, although the stress of waiting to hear about getting in to college is very real, it is not the only factor creating the anxiety at this time of year. Here are six factors that may be affecting your student’s feelings.

  • Fear of rejection – This is the obvious worry that most seniors feel if they haven’t yet heard from colleges. Students worry about being rejected by their first choice college, but they may also worry about being accepted to any college at all. They have spent years working toward this moment and it comes down to knowing that someone wants them. Although there are a myriad of factors that go into an acceptance decision, students may feel the decision is personal. If they are rejected, there is something wrong with them.
  • Fear of the decision – Once students are accepted – especially if they are accepted at multiple colleges, they will need to make a decision about which school to attend. Although this may seem like an enviable position, it puts the pressure back on the student. Will he make the right decision? Is there just one, perfect, place for him? What if he makes the wrong decision? Everyone is asking, everyone is waiting, and everyone will have an opinion once he decides. The May 1 deadline is looming.
  • Fear of leaving home – Although your soon-to-be college student may be looking forward to getting away and excited about starting a new life at college, she is likely also at least a little concerned about leaving family behind. What will life be like without family present every day? What will be happening at home, within the family, while she is away? Will she be able to manage on her own, without her ever-present support system?
  • Fear of finances – Whether or not you have had explicit conversations with your student about finances, she knows how expensive college is. She will most likely have student loans that she knows she will need to repay once she graduates. She may be worried about her ability or the family’s ability to pay for all four years of her education. She may be worried about daily expenses while she is living away. Many of today’s college students worry a lot about money.
  • Fear of abilities – Many college students feel, at some point or another, as though the college has probably made a mistake by admitting them and that they will not be able to do the work. Students have heard the message for years that college work is different from high school work, and that college is hard. Your student may worry that he will not be able to succeed academically. He may worry about grades, workload, professors, and choice of major or career. He may worry about whether or not he is good enough and whether he will be able to do the work.
  • Fear of the unknown – College is different from high school. Living away from home is different from living at home. Sharing a room with a roommate is new for most students. Making all new friends may not be something that your student has had to do recently. Your student knows that his life will be different, but he cannot quite envision it. He doesn’t know what the experience will be like, what it will feel like. He doesn’t know whether he will make friends, or succeed in the classroom, or like his roommate, or enjoy living in the dorm, or find interesting activities. He doesn’t know what new experiences he may face, or what peer pressure he may experience. It is all unknown. The unknown can be an exciting adventure, and your student hopes for that, but it is still the scary unknown.

Students in their last half of senior year of high school may have all or some of these fears causing their stress. Many students who are experiencing these fears may not even realize that they exist or are affecting their lives. It is important that parents give students space and time, and that parents be patient. But it may also be important to talk to your student about his feelings and help him to realize what is causing his stress. Once he thinks about, and perhaps talks about, some of these issues, and once he realizes that he is not alone in his concerns, he may be better able to deal with them.

As parents, we also need to face the fact that we, too, have many of these fears for our student. Don’t be afraid to share your fears and concerns – and your excitement and hopes – with your student.


Risk of Internet Addiction Higher in Teens with ADHD and Depression

Between school, work, home and cell phones, it is hard to escape the Internet. As society becomes more reliant on the World Wide Web, the risk of Internet addiction increases. For one segment of the population, that is especially true.

Children and teens who are diagnosed with one of several emotional and behavioral disorders are more likely than their peers to become addicted to the Internet, according to a recent study in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine:

Boys diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or hostility are more likely to become addicted to the Internet.
Girls diagnosed with depression or social phobia are more likely to develop an addiction to the Internet.
For children and teens with ADHD, the constant stimulation offered by the Internet (including social networking sites that are constantly updated and fast-paced video games) offers the perfect outlet. For those with depression, social phobia or hostility, the Internet has a therapeutic effect, permitting them to create their own online identity without having to function “normally” in the real world.

If you have a child that is hyperactive, the Internet can move at their pace.  If you have a child that is depressed or has social phobia, they can get in touch with other kids dealing with the same kinds of issues. They can go into artificial worlds, like ‘Second Life,’ where they can live out fantasies or take on different personas. For kids who have anger or hostility, the Internet gives them a chance to play out their aggression there.

Internet Addiction and ADHD

Researchers from a study published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine determined that teens with significant ADHD symptoms are at high risk for becoming addicted to the Internet. The researchers say this is because of several factors:

  • Children and teens with ADHD are easily bored and have an aversion to delayed reward.
  • Internet behavior is characterized by rapid response, immediate reward and multiple windows with different activities, reducing feelings of boredom or delayed aversion.
  • While playing online games, striatal dopamine is released, possibly compensating for the dopamine deficit in teens with ADHD.
  • Children with ADHD have abnormal brain activities associated with impaired inhibition. This lack of self-control may make it difficult for them to control their Internet use, making them vulnerable to Internet addiction.

Internet Addiction and Hostility

The study indicated that male teens with significant hostility were more likely to become addicted to the Internet than those teens not characterized as hostile. For teens considered hostile, the Internet allows them to express their hostility and engage in violence through such activities as online gaming.

Because they are able to get out their aggression via the Internet, hostile teens may be more prone to spending more time online than in the real world.

Internet Addiction and Depression

Females with depression were found to have a higher risk of Internet addiction. The study’s researchers determined that this was likely because the Internet can be used to alleviate depression through social support, achievement, the pleasure of control and a virtual world in which to escape from emotional difficulties.

However, too much Internet use can worsen the symptoms of depression and make depressed teens particularly vulnerable to developing an Internet addiction.

Internet Addiction and Social Phobia

As with depression, females with social phobia are more likely to become addicted to the Internet. Researchers believe this is because the Internet can provide social support in a non-face-to-face setting, allowing teens with social phobia to feel more relaxed and engaged.

The researchers warned, however, that becoming too reliant on the Internet for social support could result in an online addiction.

What Constitutes Internet Addiction?

If your child or teen is excessively using the Internet to the detriment of grades, family relationships and emotional health, an Internet addiction may be to blame. No set definition of Internet addiction exists.

Any of the following may indicate an Internet addiction:

  • A preoccupation with the Internet
  • Excessive time and effort spent online
  • Falling asleep in school, not keeping up with assignments and worsening grades
  • Lying about computer or Internet use
  • Choosing to use the Internet rather than see friends
  • No longer engaging in social activities
  • An inability to cut back on usage
  • Symptoms of withdrawal (such as irritability, anxiety and boredom) when not online
  • An impairment of decision-making ability
  • Physical symptoms of an Internet addiction can include headaches, dry eyes, weight loss, neglected personal hygiene and sleep disturbances.

Treatment for Internet Addiction, Underlying Disorders

Previous reports found that anywhere between 1.4 percent and 18 percent of children and teens are addicted to the Internet. Among those teens, a large percentage likely suffers from ADHD, depression, social phobia or hostility.

If you have determined that your child or teen is addicted to the Internet, it is important to get help immediately. Doing so can also help you identify any disorders that are underlying your teen’s addiction, such as ADHD or depression. If necessary, an adolescent residential treatment center can help teens overcome both their addiction and any underlying disorder.

Don’t let the Internet take over your teen’s life. If you are worried that your teen has an Internet addiction, or undiagnosed ADHD, depression, social phobia or hostility, seek treatment today from a psychotherapist who specializes in these issues.

Helping College Kids with Depression

College depression is a common problem. Understand why the transition to college makes young adults vulnerable to depression — and what you can do about it.

Helping your child make the emotional transition to college can be a major undertaking. Know how to identify whether your child is having trouble dealing with this new stage of life — and what you can do to help.

Depression is an illness that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. College depression isn’t a clinical diagnosis. Instead, college depression is depression that begins during college.

College students face many challenges, pressures and anxieties that can cause them to feel overwhelmed. They might be living on their own for the first time and feeling homesick. They’re also likely adapting to a new schedule and workload, adjusting to life with roommates, and figuring out how to belong. Money and intimate relationships can also serve as major sources of stress. Dealing with these changes during the transition from adolescence to adulthood can trigger or unmask depression during college in some young adults.

Depression during college has been linked to:

  • Impaired academic performance
  • Smoking
  • Risky behaviors related to alcohol abuse, such as having unsafe sex

Many college students occasionally feel sad or anxious, but these emotions pass within a few days. Untreated depression persists and interferes with normal activities.

Signs and symptoms that a student might be experiencing depression during college include:

  • Feelings of sadness or unhappiness
  • Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
  • Insomnia or excessive sleeping
  • Changes in appetite or weight
  • Agitation or restlessness
  • Angry outbursts
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration
  • Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixation on past failures, or self-blame when things aren’t going right
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
  • Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide
  • Crying spells for no apparent reason
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Signs and symptoms of depression might be difficult to notice if your child is no longer living at home. College students also might have difficulty seeking help for depression out of embarrassment or fear of not fitting in.

If you suspect that your child might be dealing with depression, talk to him or her about what’s going on and listen. Encourage your child to talk about his or her feelings. Also, ask him or her to make an appointment with a doctor as soon as possible. Many colleges offer mental health services.

Remember, depression symptoms might not get better on their own, and depression might get worse if it isn’t treated. Untreated depression can lead to other mental and physical health issues or problems in other areas of life. Feelings of depression can also increase the likelihood of substance abuse and the risk of suicide.

In addition to seeking treatment, your child can take steps to feel better. For example, encourage your student to:

  • Take it one step at a time. Encourage your child to avoid making major decisions, such as changing majors, or doing too many things at once. Instead, break up large tasks into small ones.
  • Participate in activities. Urge your child to get involved in activities that he or she enjoys, which might help diminish or shift focus away from his or her negative feelings. Physical activity can be particularly helpful.
  • Seek support. Encourage your child to get to know people in his or her dorm and classes. Friends can help your child feel more comfortable in a new environment. Family can be a great source of support, too.

There’s no sure way to prevent depression during college. However, helping your child become accustomed to his or her college campus before the start of the school year can prevent your child from feeling overwhelmed by the transition. Encourage your child to visit the campus and talk to other students, peer counselors or faculty about what to expect and where to turn for support.

If your college-bound child has risk factors for or a history of depression, talk to your child’s doctor about what kind of counseling options might best help your child with the transition to college. In addition, help your child become familiar with campus counseling resources.

Remember, getting treatment at the earliest sign of a problem can relieve symptoms, prevent depression from returning and help students succeed in college.


Helping Men Cope with Depression

As men, we often believe we have to be strong and in control of our emotions at all times. When we feel hopeless, helpless, or overwhelmed by despair we tend to deny it or cover it up by drinking too much, behaving recklessly, or exploding with anger. But depression in men is a common condition. The first step to recovery is to understand there’s no reason to feel ashamed. Then you can face the challenge head on and start working to feel better.

Understanding depression in men

 Depression is not a sign of emotional weakness or failing of masculinity. It is a treatable health condition that affects millions of men of all ages and backgrounds, as well as those who care about them—spouses, partners, friends, and family. It can also lead to heart disease and other serious medical problems. Of course, it’s normal for anyone to feel down from time to time—dips in mood are an ordinary reaction to losses, setbacks, and disappointments in life. However, if intense feelings of despair and hopelessness take hold of you, and interfere with work, family, and your ability to enjoy life, you may be suffering from depression.

Unfortunately, depression in men can often be overlooked as many of us find it difficult to talk about our feelings. Instead, we tend to focus on the physical symptoms that often accompany depression, such as back pain, headaches, difficulty sleeping, or sexual problems. This can result in the underlying depression going untreated, which can have serious consequences. In fact, men suffering from depression are four times more likely to commit suicide than women. It’s important for any man to seek help with depression before feelings of despair become feelings of suicide. You need to talk honestly with a friend, loved one, or doctor about what’s going on in your mind as well as your body. Once correctly diagnosed, there is plenty you can do to successfully treat and manage depression.

If you’re feeling suicidal…

When you’re feeling depressed or suicidal, problems don’t seem temporary—they seem overwhelming and permanent. But with time, you will feel better, especially if you reach out for help.

Signs and symptoms of depression in men

 Men can experience depression in different ways to women. You may develop the standard symptoms of depression and become sad and withdrawn, losing interest in friends and activities you used to enjoy. Or you may become irritable and aggressive, compulsively working, drinking more than normal, and engaging in high risk activities.

Unfortunately, men are far less adept at recognizing their symptoms than women. A man is more likely to deny his feelings, hide them from himself and others, or try to mask them with other behaviors. The three most common signs of depression in men are:

  • Physical pain. Sometimes depression in men shows up as physical symptoms—such as backache, frequent headaches, sleep problems, sexual dysfunction, or digestive disorders—that don’t respond to normal treatment.
  • Anger. This could range from irritability, sensitivity to criticism, or a loss of your sense of humor to road rage, a short temper, or even violence. Some men become abusive, controlling, verbally or physically abusive to wives, children, or other loved ones.
  • Reckless behavior. A man suffering from depression may start exhibiting escapist or risky behavior. This could mean pursuing dangerous sports, driving recklessly, or engaging in unsafe sex. You might drink too much, abuse drugs, or gamble compulsively.
Differences between male and female depression
Women tend to: Men tend to:
Blame themselves Blame others
Feel sad, apathetic, and worthless Feel angry, irritable, and ego inflated
Feel anxious and scared Feel suspicious and guarded
Avoid conflicts at all costs Create conflicts
Feel slowed down and nervous Feel restless and agitated
Have trouble setting boundaries Need to feel in control at all costs
Find it easy to talk about self-doubt and despair Find it “weak” to admit self-doubt or despair
Use food, friends, and “love” to self-medicate Use alcohol, TV, sports, and sex to self-medicate
Adapted from: Male Menopause by Jed Diamond

Triggers for depression in men

 There’s no single cause of depression in men. Biological, psychological, and social factors all play a part, as do lifestyle choices, relationships, and coping skills. Stressful life events or anything that makes you feel useless, helpless, alone, profoundly sad, or overwhelmed by stress can also trigger depression in men. These could include:

  • Overwhelming stress at work, school, or home
  • Marital or relationship problems
  • Not reaching important goals
  • Losing or changing a job; embarking on military service
  • Constant money problems
  • Health problems such as chronic illness, injury, disability
  • Recently quitting smoking
  • Death of a loved one
  • Family responsibilities such as caring for children, spouse, or aging parents
  • Retirement; loss of independence

Depression in men and erectile dysfunction

Impotence or erectile dysfunction is not only a cause of depression in men, it can also be a side effect of many antidepressant medications.

  • Men with sexual function problems are almost twice as likely to be depressed as those without.
  • Depression increases the risk of erectile dysfunction.
  • Many men are reluctant to acknowledge sexual problems, thinking it’s a reflection on their manhood rather than a treatable problem caused by depression.

Risk factors for depression in men

While any man can suffer from depression, there are some risk factors that make a man more vulnerable to the illness, such us:

  • Loneliness and lack of social support
  • Inability to effectively deal with stress
  • A history of alcohol or drug abuse
  • Early childhood trauma or abuse
  • Aging in isolation, with few social outlets

Treating depression in men

Don’t try to tough out depression on your own. It takes courage to seek help, but most men with depression respond well to treatments such as lifestyle changes, social support, therapy, or medication—or a combination of treatments.

The first step is to talk to your doctor. Be open about how you’re feeling as well as the physical symptoms you’re experiencing so your mental health specialist can make an accurate diagnosis.

  • Therapy. You may feel that talking to a stranger about your problems is ‘unmanly,’ or that therapy carries with it a victim status. However, if therapy is available to you, it can be an extremely effective treatment for depression in men. Opening up to a therapist can often bring a swift sense of relief, even to the most skeptical male. If therapy isn’t available to you, open up to a friend, family member, or work colleague. The simple act of talking to someone face to face can be an enormous help.
  • Medication. Antidepressant medication may help relieve some symptoms of depression, but doesn’t cure the underlying problem, and is rarely a long-term solution. Medication also comes with side effects. Don’t rely on a doctor who is not trained in mental health for guidance on medication, and always pursue healthy lifestyle changes and social support as well.

 Lifestyle changes to treat depression in men

Lifestyle changes are extremely effective tools at treating depression in men. Even if you need other treatments as well, lifestyle changes can help lift depression and keep it from coming back.

  • Exercise regularly. Regular exercise is a powerful way to fight depression in men. Not only does it boost serotonin, endorphins, and other feel-good brain chemicals, it triggers the growth of new brain cells and connections, just as antidepressants do. It also boosts self-esteem and helps to improve sleep. For maximum results, aim for 30 to 60 minutes of activity on most days.
  • Eat well. Eating small, well-balanced meals throughout the day will help you keep your energy up and minimize mood swings. While you may be drawn to sugary foods for the quick boost they provide, complex carbohydrates are a better choice. They’ll get you going without the sugar crash. Deficiencies in B vitamins can trigger depression so take a B-complex vitamin supplement or eat more citrus fruit, leafy greens, beans, chicken, and eggs. Foods rich in certain omega-3 fats—such as salmon, walnuts, soybeans, and flaxseeds—can also give your mood a boost.
  • Get enough sleep. When you don’t get enough sleep, your depression symptoms can be worse. Sleep deprivation exacerbates anger, irritability, and moodiness. Aim for somewhere between 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.
  • Reduce stress. Make changes in your life to help manage and reduce stress. Too much stress exacerbates depression and puts you at risk for future depression. Set realistic goals and break them down into manageable tasks rather than burden yourself with huge objectives all at once. Figure out the things in your life that stress you out, such as work overload or unsupportive relationships, and make a plan to avoid them or minimize their impact.

Exercise as an Antidepressant for Men

Exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication. Check with your doctor before starting a new exercise program, then follow these exercise tips:

  • Exercise regularly and often. A 10-minute walk can improve your mood for two hours. The key to sustaining mood benefits is to exercise regularly. That may mean exercising vigorously for 30 minutes once a day as well as taking one or two short walks to keep your mood elevated throughout the whole day.
  • Find activities that are at least moderately intense. Aerobic exercise undoubtedly has mental health benefits, but you don’t always have to sweat strenuously to see results. Remember, even a few minutes of gentle activity are better than none at all.
  • Choose exercises that are continuous and rhythmic. Walking, swimming, running, biking, rowing, and yoga are all good choices.
  • Add a mind-body element to increase relaxation. If walking or running, for example, focus on each step—the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath, and the feeling of the wind against your face. If resistance training, focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements and note how your body feels as you raise and lower the weights.
  • Make exercise social. Joining a class or exercising in a group can help keep you motivated and make exercise an enjoyable social activity. Try joining a running club or taking stationary bike classes at a gym or YMCA. If you like healthy competition, seek out tennis partners, join a soccer league, volleyball team, or pickup basketball game. Or find a workout buddy, and afterwards have a drink or watch a game together.

Social support to treat depression in men

 Strong social networks reduce isolation, which can trigger or intensify bouts of depression.

  • Let your family and friends help you. Accepting help and support is not a sign of weakness and it won’t mean you’re a burden to others. In fact, most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your bond. Close relationships are vital to helping you get through this tough time.
  • Participate in social activities, even if you don’t feel like it. When you’re depressed, it feels more comfortable to retreat into your shell. But being around other people will make you feel less depressed.

Building a social network to beat depression in men

 More than just avoiding solitude, men need to find people they can really connect with, face-to-face. That doesn’t mean simply trading jokes with a coworker or chatting about sports with the guy sitting next to you in a bar. It means finding someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with, someone who’ll listen to you without judging you, or telling you how you should think or feel.

You may think that discussing your feelings isn’t very macho, but whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re already communicating your feelings to those around you; you’re just not using words. If you’re short-tempered, drinking more than usual, or punching holes in the wall, those closest to you will know something’s wrong. Choosing to talk about what you’re going through, instead, can actually help you feel better.

For many men—especially when they’re suffering from depression—reaching out to others can seem overwhelming. Close relationships don’t happen overnight, but there are steps you can take to help you connect with others and build a solid support network.

  • Join a support group for depression. Being with others who are facing the same problems can help reduce your sense of isolation and remove the stigma you may feel. It can also be inspiring to share experiences.
  • Volunteering can be a great way to help others while also expanding your social network.
  • Meet new people with a common interest by taking a class, joining a club, or enrolling in a special interest group that meets on a regular basis.
  • Walk a dog. It’s good exercise for you and a great way to meet people. If you can’t adopt your own, ask a friend or neighbor to borrow their dog.
  • Invite someone to a ballgame, movie, or concert. There are plenty of other people who feel just as awkward about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice.
  • Call or email an old buddy. Even if you’ve retreated from relationships that were once important to you, make the effort to reconnect.
  • Confide in a counselor, coach, or clergy member.
  • Be a good listener. To develop a solid friendship with someone, be prepared to listen and support them just as you want them to listen and support you.

More tips for fighting depression in men

  • Challenge negative thoughts. Make a note of every negative thought you have and what triggered it. For each negative, write down something positive. For example, “My boss hates me. He gave me this difficult report to complete” could be replaced with, “My boss must have a lot of faith in me to give me so much responsibility.”
  • Postpone making important decisions. If possible, avoid making life-changing decisions before your depressed mood has lifted. It’s hard for a man to be objective when suffering from depression. Discuss potential changes with someone whose opinion you trust before changing careers, moving home, or getting divorced, for example.
  • Don’t expect your mood to improve instantly. Feeling better takes time. You’ll likely begin to feel a little better each day. Many men recovering from depression notice improvements in sleep patterns and appetite before improvements in mood.

Helping a male relative or loved one with depression

It often takes a wife, partner, or other family member to recognize a man’s symptoms of depression. Even if a man suspects he’s depressed, he may be ashamed that he’s unable to cope on his own and only seek help when pressured to do so by a loved one

Talking to a man about depression

The first step is to let him know that depression is common among men and is no way a negative reflection on his manhood. Many men don’t exhibit typical depressive symptoms—but rather anger and reckless behavior—so you may want to avoid using the word “depression” and try describing his behavior as “stressed” or “overly tired.” It could help him to open up.

  • Point out how his behavior has changed, without being critical. For example, “You always seem get stomach pains before work,” or “You haven’t played racquetball for months.”
  • Suggest a general check-up with a physician. He may be less resistant to seeing a family doctor than a mental health professional at first. A regular doctor can rule out medical causes of depression and then make a referral to someone trained in mental health for therapy or medication. Sometimes, this “professional” opinion makes all the difference for a man.
  • Offer to help him find a mental health provider and go with him on the first visit.Some men are resistant to talking to a stranger about their feelings, so try to remove roadblocks to him seeking help.
  • Encourage him to make a list of symptoms to discuss. Help him focus on his feelings as well as physical ailments, and to be honest about his use of alcohol and drugs.

How to offer support to a man with depression

Supporting a man with depression requires understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement.

  • Engage him in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage the feelings he expresses, but do point out realities and offer hope.
  • Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
  • Invite him for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused.
  • Encourage participation in activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, or cultural activities, but do not push him to undertake too much too soon. He needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase his feelings of failure.
  • Do not accuse him of faking his feelings, or expect him ‘to snap out of it. Instead, keep reassuring him that, with time and help, he will feel better.
  • You may need to monitor whether he is taking prescribed medication or attending therapy sessions. Encourage him to follow orders about the use of alcohol if he’s prescribed antidepressants.
  • Remember, you can’t “fix” someone else’s depression. You’re not to blame for your loved one’s depression or responsible for his happiness. Ultimately, recovery is in his hands.